This shows how important it is for a child that parents are able to argue in a positive way. Take a few minutes to think about this, it’s powerful stuff!

Disagreement between parents can happen whether you are together, separated or divorced, but how we manage arguments is important, allowing tensions to be dealt with and for the relationship to move on. It’s really important for children to see their parents are able to come to agreement in a positive way.

How do you handle your arguments? Is it helpful? Or harmful?

Arguments, when kept under control, are an important and natural part of relationships. What matters is how you manage your arguments so that you handle them in a helpful way that leaves everyone feeling okay. Parent relationships that have regular and unresolved arguments can affect children emotionally and their future relationships.

When you know how arguments work, you can learn to keep them under control.

Have a think about the things that the two of you argue about regularly. Can you talk about this and work out a way to approach these “triggers” in a more positive way?

Parental conflict and domestic abuse are two separate things, but it can sometimes be difficult to work out if your relationship is abusive or just in a bad place.

As a general guide, if your relationship with your partner, ex-partner or a member of your family is abusive:

• they will want to hold all the power and control
• you might be afraid of them
• the abuse will have happened more than once, or you will notice patterns.

It can be difficult to know whether you are experiencing domestic abuse, but www.saferplaces.co.uk have prepared a list of questions that may be helpful in spotting the signs.

Have you:

• Felt or been told you should give up activities or hobbies to spend more time with your partner?
• Been told you should spend less time with friends and family and prioritise your relationship?
• Been avoiding upsetting your partner (walking on eggshells)?
• Felt responsible for your partner's happiness?
• Been apologising for the behaviour of your partner? 
• Been doing things just to please your partner? 
• Felt like you need to hide interactions with others because your partner is jealous?
• Been told it is always you, e.g., you are always wrong/late/screwing up etc.?
• Been told how to look, what to wear, where to go, who to see?
• Have you been confused and scared of your partner’s unpredictable behaviour?
• Felt they are playing ‘mind games’ with you?
• Felt or been pressured to have sex when you don’t want to?
• Been expected to answer phone calls and text with a time limit?
• Intimidated and frightened of your partner?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, it may be possible you are experiencing domestic abuse in your relationship. Remember, you are not alone.

Where to get help

Local support organisations:

• BCP BCHA Domestic Abuse Referrals & Support Line: 01202 710 777
• BCP Refuge: 01202 710 777
• Support for Male victims ManKind Initiative - Supporting Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Tel: 08088001170 (will not show on your bill) 01823334244 (for those with inclusive minutes)

Men as victims - Paragon Team Tel: 0800 032 5204

• Citizen Advice Bureau: 01202 290 967
• Sexual Trauma and Recovery Service (STARS): 01202 308 855
• Victim Support: 0808 168 9111 (National support)
• Victim Support: 0300 303 0163 (Dorset support)

There are also national organisations which can help:

• National Domestic Violence Helpline: 0808 2000 247
• The National Centre for Domestic Violence: 0800 970 2070
• Women's Aid: 0808 2000 247
• Samaritans: 116 123
• Elder Abuse (Hourglass): 080 8808 8141
• Citizen's Advice
• Shelter: 0808 800 4444

If you belong to a specific community check the Directory of National By and For Services.

For more information click here.